Spring Break 2014: Destination Belize - Part 2

We had the greatest day today! 

We were able to go out with the boys on a morning of scuba diving! SCUBA DIVING!!! It was more fun that I could have even imagined! Unfortunately, we didn't have the camera - dang it!!!! We had a different understanding of what we were doing and we left our bag at the store, thinking we'd come back after we all 'tried out our breathing and equalizing'. We were wrong. We went directly out to the reef - so we didn't have a camera! Oh well. We all have the memories :)

It was a PADI certification introductory Open Water Dive. We watched a short video, got familiar with our equipment and headed to the reef. We put on our fins, weight belts and masks and climbed over the boat into 4 feet of water. We're probably 2 miles off of shore - and it was only 4 feet deep. So cool. Our teacher, Scuba Steve, was a native guy who has been teaching for 22 years, he was amazing!

Scuba Steve hooked the tanks and all the hoses/regulators/etc to each of our vests and handed them over the boat. We all strapped in and he told us to try sticking our faces in the water and breathing. He said it's best to not over think it, or get caught up in the instruction. We just had to remember 2 things: Breathe (don't hold your breath) and Equalize (make sure you continue popping your ears, by holding your nose and blowing, swallowing, whatever you normally do on the plane). 

Once we stuck our faces in the water, we could see HUGE grouper under our boat! It was so exciting! He talked to us for a little bit, made sure we were all breathing, then we went a little deeper. At that point, we used the sign language we learned in the video and he went to each of us and made sure we knew how to take the breathing apparatus out of our mouths, put it back in and clear it with water. He also made each of us practice clearing our masks of water. Once we all got the ok - off we went. 

It was amazing. Immediately after our little instructional test, we swam across a HUGE sea turtle. Within a minute, a shark came by and REALLY checked us out. He swam right up to each of us and really was looking at us right in our faces. It was awesome! It was a 3-4 foot long nurse shark. We were not supposed to touch anything, but it was all I could do to not reach out and touch it! He had little whiskers in the corners of his mouth. It was so cool. Surprisingly, it didn't make me nervous at all. 

I stayed at the back of the pack and kept counting kids. Greg and I went with the 5 boys. My two, the two cousins and Enoch. Greg made fun of me. He said he kept seeing me count. I couldn't help it. I honestly thought someone would struggle with something. The only trouble we had was some floating. The instructor had to add extra weights to Greg and I. The boys were able to be regulated by their valves alone. 

Almost everyone swam through a little cave - very tiny cave. I was having trouble getting down that low (this was just before he weighted me a little more) and Andrew was having trouble with his ears not popping, so he had risen a little and re-decended as he was instructed and it fixed it. I heard there were Moray Eels inside looking at everyone like, "Hey. What are you doing in here?" That's a direct quote from one of the boys. 

We saw 3 Eagle Rays, 2 sea turtles tons and tons of coral and all sorts of interesting fish that I had never even seen pictures of before. It was unbelievable. We went as deep as 22 feet and were out for about 30 minutes. I think we could have all gone much longer, but that amount of time left a "safe" amount of air in our tanks. I can see now how easily it would be to get busy and run out of air. I was watching my regulator early on, but then completely forgot the thing existed as the sea came alive right in front of my eyes! 

It was so much louder than I expected. When you go underwater it is typically so quiet. Sounds are muted. This was surprisingly loud. Each breath is loud as you inhale and exhale. The inhaling reminds me of Darth Vader and the exhaling is like you've just exhaled a mouth full of bubbles (you have) and that is surprisingly loud. Not annoying or anything, just surprising.

We're all ready to be certified for real. It was amazing. Next time we'll have to plan and work certification into our schedule. It was awesome!

The boys rounded out their day by climbing a tree, picking coconuts and then husking and cracking them open. They are gathering coconut water and drying out the meat so that they can make coconut milk. We have 3 cans in the cupboard, but I am sure this will take so much better! 

Andrew was the first one to decide to climb up for a coconut. He did the same thing in the Galapagos. He was excited to find another coconut tree! The only problem; in the Galapagos, there was a man nearby with a machete. No guy with a machete here. 

So he had to figure out how to husk it. He used shells.

After Andrew finished his coconut, cracked it open and shared the goodness with others, we had a whole herd of coconut-ers! 

Alex declaring his coconut officially shucked! 

Keep in mind this took them REALLY working at it for a few hours - so completion is something to celebrate :)

Spring Break 2014: Destination Belize - Part 1

We get to spend the week at Greg's brother's condo in Belize this year for Spring Break. It's like heaven here.

This is Andrew's Senior Year, so we told him he could bring his good friend Enoch along. Enoch Olmstead and Andrew have been two peas in a pod since Sunbeams (a class in church for the 4 year olds). They are like 2 weeks apart in age and a perfect personality match. We love having this chance to spend with him before he heads off on his mission. I know he'll be putting in his papers soon! We will miss that kid!

Here is a quick recap from our first few days here:

Friday and Saturday were a couple of LONG days. 

We drove from Phoenix to Los Angeles to catch the Red-Eye to Belize City. We left Phoenix at 3:30pm, arrived in LA around 9pm, and our flight took off at 12:30am. We arrived in Belize City at 7am and waited outside for the driver for over an hour. It's blazing hot and humid and we were starving - but Tomas, the driver hadn't expected us to make it through customs quite to quickly. We waited around at the dock until 2:30 and headed back to the airport to pick up Greg's brother Kyle and his family. They had horrible lines and it took them a good hour - hour and a half to get through customs! We finally boarded Kyle's boat and headed for Ambergris Caye. 

Ambergris Caye is about a 45 minute boat ride from the mainland on Kyle's new boat with super fast motors. I am sure I should know more about them than that - there are 2 motors and they both say 250… So does that mean 500 horsepower? I don't know. It was fast. That's all I know. 

We spent our first day here exploring our new home for the week. There was a lot of swimming, snacking, fishing (not catching) for sardines to use as bait and resting up. It was a perfect way to settle in. 

The boys spent some time exploring the jungle. There was a group of teenage girls that were walking the beach… There might be some "scouting" going on as well :)

It was a great first day!

On the boat ride out to Ambergris Caye. Our place is just about 4 miles from San Paulo.

The kids sat inside, the adults sat outside and enjoyed the ocean breeze!

Uncle Greg and Quinn kayaking out to the reef for some snorkeling. 

Andrew & Enoch sporting their farmer's tans from the Gilbert Temple Cultural Celebration. 

Alex and Oliver took the kayak out for a spin.

Only the little Red Snappers seem to be biting near the dock. 

 Postcard perfect!

Walking Beside Us

Change. Trust. Patience.

As we work with my oldest son to transition into the next phase of his life (graduation and college) I remember having similar feelings of uncertainty. I vividly remember wanting to achieve my dreams, but being terrified of taking the next step into the unknown. I had so many doubts, so many questions.

This child is an exact replica of me. My strengths are his strengths. His thinking process is my thinking process. His fears are my fears. It is strange looking at it from this perspective. I see him as he truly is. Confident. Strong. Courageous. Focused. Capable of achieving every goal he could ever have.

He isn't quite as confident in himself for the first time. I see his potential. I see who he can become. I see the struggle and fear and uncertainty and there is very little that I can do to eliminate that. I can be here to support him. I can show him the way. I can hold his hand. But he has to take the first step.

I think that little moments like this give us a teeny little glimpse into how our Father in Heaven feels toward us. He sees our full potential. He knows we are capable of accomplishing all of our goals. He has shown us the way, and will walk beside us - but we have to take that first step.

What a blessing it is to be a mother. To be gifted with the ability to lead and guide these spiritual beings throughout their lives. To be able to lift them up when they need it. To be the sounding board - or punching bag - when their lives become overwhelming.

How many times have we asked "God - Where were you?"when times were tough. When we thought we were alone and abandoned.

I realize that I am doing all that I can to help my son move ahead, but he doesn't always see that. He doesn't always look at my efforts with gratefulness. Sometimes this shocks me. I am doing every single thing that I can to support you and you don't even see that?

I think in those moments, when we ask "God - Where are you?" We need to understand that He IS there. He always will be. But in that moment, we just can not, or will not, recognize that.

After a hot shower, my beautiful young man, who is feeling lost in his changing world, comes to us and with a big hug apologizes. He now sees. We ARE on the same team. We will advocate for him until our last breath and then some. We would give all that we are and all that we have for his happiness.

Heavenly Father is there for us in that very same way. Always supporting, always teaching. Sometimes, we just can't see it. But that's ok. He still loves us anyway. He still helps us. He still supports us. He will never fail us.

And I will forever be there for my son. For all time and all eternity. Regardless. It's my job. I'm the mom.

Finding My Voice

It's time. Time for me to find my new place in this changing world of mine. I don't write, because I feel like I have lost my voice, or lost my place. It's hard to say.

Transitioning back was rough, but I think a big part of that difficulty stemmed from the change in my family.

You see, when we first moved to Chile, my boys were getting ready to start their Junior and Freshman years in High School. A time when a teenager naturally, and appropriately begins pulling away. Fortunately for this mama, that move drove us closer together as a family unit. We only had each other for the first little bit. Even when the kids started making friends (and mom & dad, too) we still were connected as a solid family unit.

We're still a solid family unit, I hope that we always will be, but things have changed. The kids are pulling away (as they should be). I have less and less time with them each and every day. I treasure the little moments of undivided attention, the nightly meals filled with laughter (thank goodness for that). I am grateful for those little glimpses into their days and lives. They are fewer and fewer between.

I've managed to keep myself busy all of these years. Actively involved in PTOs and PTA, volunteering at the school. High school drops in terms of parent involvement. There are still opportunities, but nothing like what was required when they were younger. So what's a stay-at-home mom to do? What is my purpose exactly?

Do I get a job? Nope. I don't want to risk losing those few precious moments if I don't have to. My mother always encourages me to go back to school. I'm just not ready for that yet. I find myself searching for my own purpose.

At my church, we have opportunities to serve each other. Right now, I am tasked to work with the single people aged 31-45. I love it - but it doesn't require much of my time. So I'm expanding my role, and planning large Phoenix Valley Events and Conferences.

I have an amazing opportunity to work with the teens of my church, as they prepare for a once-in-a-lifetime Cultural Event celebrating the opening of our new LDS Temple in Gilbert, AZ. I get to work with my boys and their friends. I'm loving that.

So I am finding small things to do. Projects. Cleaning, organizing, labeling…

This whole experience happened once before, on a smaller scale, when my youngest went to 1st grade and I had to figure out what my purpose in life was without a little one to care for at home all day. I cried and cried to my husband that first weekend - but I quickly learned to appreciate, even enjoy my "ME" time. That will happen again.

I've realized that I do still have a voice. I just have to find it. I have to figure out what exactly it is that I want to say. What I need to say. Where I say it from.

I have come to one very important conclusion: It's not about leaving Chile that has rocked my world - my world was going to get rocked anyway, I just added an international move to the mix. Now it's time for me to find my way again.

Changed.

On September 11, 2011, tragedy struck the United States of America. Not the kind of tragedy that I ever expected inside the borders of this great nation. We look at tornadoes, hurricanes, wildfires, and feel devastated for those affected. But this? This was different. This was an attack. This rocked me to the core.

Up to this point, I was naive. I saw things happening around the world - terrible things - but never once did it cross my mind that we could experience the same things. Sadly, I would watch these things and think about how 'violent the news was' how 'depressing' it was to watch it. So I stopped watching.

What was that? Denial? If I turned it off, then it wasn't really happening, right?

September 11, 2011 changed me.

I pulled my baby out of his crib and plopped him, with his tousled blonde/white hair, right into the carseat as we headed off to drop my oldest off at his 1/2 day kindergarten class. I kissed his little face and off he ran. His backpack so big it wobbled from side-to-side as he darted to the playground.

It was a normal day.

Yet it wasn't.

Things were happening all over the country that I had no knowledge of. Terrorists passing through security. Sitting in seats, acting normal. Moms and dads, sons and daughters seated beside them chatting about their days, reading magazines, catching up on a few last minute emails before the planes took off.

That should have been my husband.

He was planning a business trip for that day that was canceled last minute.

I turned on the TV so my baby could watch "Blues Clues" when I saw it.

I sat in horror as I watched the smoke billow out of one of the towers. It must be a horrible accident. The plane must have malfunctioned. But really, in my gut, I knew. But how? Why?

This can't be happening.

I called my mom and we watched together as the 2nd plane hit. We were silent. Listening. I was nauseated. Tears were streaming down my face as we learned about the other plane that had crashed.

This can't be happening.

Alex curled up in my lap and put his sweet little hand up to my face to wipe away my tears. He was too little to understand what was happening, but not too little to know how to love his mommy when she needed it.

It was all I could do to not rush up to the school and bring my son home. I wanted him safe inside my home. Would schools be a target? How many more of these villains were out there?

An automated call came from the school district assuring us that the kids were safe and we did not need to collect them until the end of the scheduled day.

I felt a need to have him with me, but just as strongly a need for life to be normal.

I felt bonded as an American. I was praying with everyone across the nation. We were united in a single purpose and emotion. In our time of need, we turned to our Heavenly Father. I felt great peace in that. I felt great pride to be a part of such a large unified group.

I learned what it felt like to be on edge. Worrying about what might come around the corner.

We have a small airport in our neighborhood. Small planes fly low over the main street as they finish their decent and land on the runway. It's always been a source of wonderment and excitement. We love watching the planes. But shortly after 9/11, I would feel myself panic as planes flew low over my car.

I watched the news with a new set of eyes. A new heart.

I had more empathy for others who face these attacks every day.

I have more gratitude for the men and women who work to protect my family every single day.

Living overseas solidified my gratitude for living in this country. The United States of America is a blessed nation. The freedoms and rights that we take for granted are a blessing. The safety that we take for granted is not free. Someone - lots of someones - are sacrificing to keep us safe in this very moment. Soldiers, Politicians, Government Employees here and abroad. The families that support those individuals, making sacrifices for us. Willingly. They don't know me. They don't know my family. Yet they are willing to give everything they have to protect me.

I am forever grateful for their service.

I am forever grateful that I was born into this country and that the safety of my family is not a trial I must bear.

I pray for our great nation, especially during this time of reflection. I pray that we can all strive to be kinder and more patient with one another. That we will look at all we have with gratitude. That we can continue to turn to our Heavenly Father, not just in times of turmoil, but in times of peace.

I am grateful for the lessons I learned that day. Out of the ashes we rose a stronger nation. We are not divided in our desire to protect our families. We are one in our gratitude for those who risked their lives for us that day.

We must continue to understand that there are heroes protecting us even today. We must remember the gratitude and unity that we felt on 9/11/01 and let those emotions move us forward.

The events of September 11th, 2001 changed me. Did they change you?

Our NEW, OLD Life.

We're here. In the US again. Back in our old house. Back in our old lives.

Sort of...

We've changed.

Our home has changed.

Yet things are the same.

It's weird. Surreal even.

Regardless, this is our new chapter. With a new chapter comes a new blog.

It didn't feel right adding to the "Adventures in Chile" blog. That adventure has come to an end and new ones await us.

We begin our final year with our oldest son. As a senior in high school, he is preparing to start a huge new chapter in his life. We are leading and guiding him, but know the next few months bring lots of large decisions that he must make for himself. The direction that his life will take must be his decision. How exciting for him! I find such joy in watching him grow and decide. We are so proud of him and know that he will find success in anything that he does.

We see our baby blossoming. He's growing like a weed. Pants that fit him a little big the last week of June no longer will work. Not even close - and it's only like 7 weeks later! His voice is deep, his feet are huge, and his heart is still as big as ever! I love that he's transitioned into his 2nd new high school so easily.

I'm finding my way here. Learning patience with my home. I would love to run out and buy everything I want, but I really, really don't want to settle on just anything. So I must be patient. When something comes along that is perfect, I'll know it. Until then, we can do without.

Greg is happier here. His load has lessened. His commute is a fraction of what it was and he's home at a decent hour. He's had to travel most of the time we've been here, but promises that it will slow down. He's just trying to get caught up from our time abroad.

Scooter is thrilled to be home. He loves the big yard and doggie door. He's a happy old dog.

So yes. We are all happy, healthy, and adjusting to our newly remodeled, old home. It's new and improved but maintained all the charm it had that we fell in love with when we first walked in 13 years ago. I guess it's kind of like us. This experience has left us all a little "remodeled". We're essentially the same, but a little bit of us improved. We're all a little better. Wiser. Kinder. More Patient. A little less cluttered mentally, a lot more empathetic toward others, and much more grateful for what we have. We see the world through different eyes. It's a shiny new finish to our old selves. A new-and-improved version.

At least that's how this mama sees it! :)