Walking Beside Us

Change. Trust. Patience.

As we work with my oldest son to transition into the next phase of his life (graduation and college) I remember having similar feelings of uncertainty. I vividly remember wanting to achieve my dreams, but being terrified of taking the next step into the unknown. I had so many doubts, so many questions.

This child is an exact replica of me. My strengths are his strengths. His thinking process is my thinking process. His fears are my fears. It is strange looking at it from this perspective. I see him as he truly is. Confident. Strong. Courageous. Focused. Capable of achieving every goal he could ever have.

He isn't quite as confident in himself for the first time. I see his potential. I see who he can become. I see the struggle and fear and uncertainty and there is very little that I can do to eliminate that. I can be here to support him. I can show him the way. I can hold his hand. But he has to take the first step.

I think that little moments like this give us a teeny little glimpse into how our Father in Heaven feels toward us. He sees our full potential. He knows we are capable of accomplishing all of our goals. He has shown us the way, and will walk beside us - but we have to take that first step.

What a blessing it is to be a mother. To be gifted with the ability to lead and guide these spiritual beings throughout their lives. To be able to lift them up when they need it. To be the sounding board - or punching bag - when their lives become overwhelming.

How many times have we asked "God - Where were you?"when times were tough. When we thought we were alone and abandoned.

I realize that I am doing all that I can to help my son move ahead, but he doesn't always see that. He doesn't always look at my efforts with gratefulness. Sometimes this shocks me. I am doing every single thing that I can to support you and you don't even see that?

I think in those moments, when we ask "God - Where are you?" We need to understand that He IS there. He always will be. But in that moment, we just can not, or will not, recognize that.

After a hot shower, my beautiful young man, who is feeling lost in his changing world, comes to us and with a big hug apologizes. He now sees. We ARE on the same team. We will advocate for him until our last breath and then some. We would give all that we are and all that we have for his happiness.

Heavenly Father is there for us in that very same way. Always supporting, always teaching. Sometimes, we just can't see it. But that's ok. He still loves us anyway. He still helps us. He still supports us. He will never fail us.

And I will forever be there for my son. For all time and all eternity. Regardless. It's my job. I'm the mom.